Everyone has insecurities and doubts that hold us back from making progress and feeling good about what we do.
For me, I always knew I would be a musician. I loved being able to express myself with music because I was never good with words. But as I've gotten older I've become so afraid of being vulnerable all the time in my music.
I realized that my brain painted an image of a world with purely critical and cynical people... which is totally untrue! After taking time for myself and working through my altered view of the world, I can look at my musical journey in a more realistic and healthy way, making me even more confident as a musician and a human.
Here are 3 insecurities that every flute player I've known has struggled with at some point and how to think your way through them.
"I don't have the skill or talent to keep up with my peers."
Comparison is one of the common culprits of mental insecurities. You hear your friend play a piece that sounds difficult, and you think, "They're WAY better than me. I could NEVER play that!"
Or maybe you watch a video of a famous flute player, wearing a fabulous outfit and playing to a sold-out audience of thousands of people. You think, "I don't even know what I'd have to do to be as good as them. Guess I'll settle for being just okay!"
What you forget is that everybody started out as a beginner, and everyone's musical journey is completely different. Comparing yourself to your friend is unfair, even if you started flute at the same time, because they aren't you and you aren't them.
Compare yourself to where you started and where you are now. You'll be surprised how much progress you're making, and think where you can end up from where you are now!
"Everyone will judge me for being inadequate."
When I was in high school, I was so nervous being on stage for band concerts. It felt like the entire audience was staring at me and if I played a wrong note, they would automatically know.
Well, the truth is that people don't realize your weaknesses unless you tell them 99% of the time (fake statistic, real point). My point is that most people listen to music to ENJOY it, not to rip it to shreds.
Whether you're performing in your living room or on a concert stage, your audience WANTS to enjoy your music, so they will go into your performance with an open mind and a positive attitude.
You can't please everyone, but in my experience, the people who go to concerts to judge you aren't the people you usually play your heart out to. It's the ones who enjoy your concerts because they care about you.
"If I can't perfect my playing, then I can't put myself out there for others to hear."
Classical flute music, and Classical music in general, has a reputation for perfection. Even your middle school or high school band directors tell you to play things perfectly.
But where else in your life are you REQUIRED to be perfect? You aren't required to sleep perfectly, to walk perfectly, or to chew perfectly.
If you were a robot, you would be programmed to do everything perfectly. But thankfully you're not a robot! (And if you are, I have some follow up questions.) You're a human, and humans are designed to be flawed, aka unique.
You'll never brush your teeth the same exact way, so you can't expect to play the flute perfectly all day every day. You will make mistakes, and that's okay.
I can't tell you how many performances I've had where I felt disappointed for messing up. But in almost every situation, an audience member told me how much they loved my playing. Or a fellow flute player who knew the music told me what an amazing job I did, which means a lot since they know how hard I had to work!
Final Flute Notes
Playing the flute doesn't have to be a lost cause if you can't do it "perfectly." Every flute player has an insecurity that gets in the way of their music making, so you're not alone in doubting yourself. When you feel lost in those insecurities, remember that for every doubt you have you can rethink it and feel good about where you are in your musical journey!
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